I got the job!

So last Thursday I went in for an interview and bombed. I knew while it was happening that it was going bad. I lost control sometime in the second hour. And knowing I only had two more hours to pull it out the panic set in. I got all sweaty and nervous and started deleting and re-drawing things randomly. Layers started piling up covering up old work, then I would notice something covered up and just re-draw it. My hands started shaking and the guy kept calling out how much time was left, counting down until he finally said, "okay that's it guys." So I saved and left. I was sure I would never hear about it again.

Somehow, on Friday, they called me for a second interveiw. So that weekend I practiced. On the second interveiw I set up the layers in advance and kept everything organized. It went well and I felt good about it when I left. He kept calling time again and the guy next to me was bombing. I could tell he was as misearble as I had been the first time.

Out of the frying pan into the fire.

It' s long work that involves staring into a computer all day. My neck hurts, my eyes are burned out. Sometimes after my shift when I'm driving home my poor eyeballs digitize the cars and highway as if I'm seeing it on a monitor and I picture how I would lay it out in layers with inking and colors. Sometime other types of halucinations happen. My vision will distort as if someone put a big magnet next to the monitor and even after I realize it is not real I can make it do it again.

The worse thing is that I had a job, and now it hangs over me. I was scheduled to paint two murals for a nice lady. She used to love me. But then I started working on this and quit calling her. Now she is probably furious with me. I can't seem to bring myself to call her. I know I should just come clean. Tell her that her litttle child can wait a few more weeks for his mural and her boutique will be okay. So far I haven't and each day it gets a little longer that I have blown her off.